EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
Katie Couric did not interview Sarah Palin!
Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin impersonator Tina Fey!
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
That's right folks, that was Tina Fey in the interview with CBS anchor Katie Couric.
Sarah Palin was with Amy Poehler doing the Saturday Night Live skit lampooning Sarah Palin.
Showing posts with label attempted humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attempted humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
CONGRATULATIONS DAVAO CITY !
We have made it!
We are now on par with Metro Manila !
Years and years ago the politicians made a bold decision to emulate the travails of Metro Manila.
No Matter What It Takes.
And they did it!
Traffic? Check!
Pollution? Check!
Flooding? Check! Check! Check!
Why in my elementary days, we never had the joy of experiencing school cancellation due to flooding! Students today are so lucky to experience an official goof-off day.
Makes me green with envy!
How did Davao City do it?
With no foresight and lack of planning, of course!
Congratulations to our none working politicians past, present & future on this hard loss victory.
But wait... you must not rest on your stinking laurels, less needs to be done.
Poor planning and zoning must continue unhindered and unabated.
Streets must be constructed with token flood control. Or better yet, just slap a sticker of a drainage on the curb!
Traffic 'aides' must be trained to ignore traffic lights and conduct traffic as silly and carelessly as they please!
Davao City's politician must not rest on their cess pool, less work needs to be done to keep up with Metro Manila.
WARNING : POST CONTAINS CAUSTIC SARCASM. NOT SUITABLE TO THOSE WITH BAD READING COMPREHENSION. Oh, wait... this should be on top... DAMN, too late.
We are now on par with Metro Manila !
Years and years ago the politicians made a bold decision to emulate the travails of Metro Manila.
No Matter What It Takes.
And they did it!
Traffic? Check!
Pollution? Check!
Flooding? Check! Check! Check!
Why in my elementary days, we never had the joy of experiencing school cancellation due to flooding! Students today are so lucky to experience an official goof-off day.
Makes me green with envy!
How did Davao City do it?
With no foresight and lack of planning, of course!
Congratulations to our none working politicians past, present & future on this hard loss victory.
But wait... you must not rest on your stinking laurels, less needs to be done.
Poor planning and zoning must continue unhindered and unabated.
Streets must be constructed with token flood control. Or better yet, just slap a sticker of a drainage on the curb!
Traffic 'aides' must be trained to ignore traffic lights and conduct traffic as silly and carelessly as they please!
Davao City's politician must not rest on their cess pool, less work needs to be done to keep up with Metro Manila.
WARNING : POST CONTAINS CAUSTIC SARCASM. NOT SUITABLE TO THOSE WITH BAD READING COMPREHENSION. Oh, wait... this should be on top... DAMN, too late.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Today Is Philippine Independence Day
No it is not.
Wait... Yes it is.
No it is not, because the short statured presidential personality with facial mark declared June 9, 2008 to be The Philippine Independence Day.
And next year The Philippine Independence Day will be celebrated on: ________________.
Wait... Yes it is.
No it is not, because the short statured presidential personality with facial mark declared June 9, 2008 to be The Philippine Independence Day.
And next year The Philippine Independence Day will be celebrated on: ________________.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Celebrity Endorsement
Burger King received a free endorsement from Robert Downey Jr.
Most certainly not a ringing endorsement...
And... it is not really an endorsement.
Not at all.
Unless you are depressed and suicidal, then Burger King may help you turn your life around.
Really.
From Ok! Magazine via Consumerist.
The Iron Man star has publicly thanked the fast food chain for helping him get on the road to recovery by serving him a cheeseburger so disgusting that it forced him to reassess his entire life...
Most certainly not a ringing endorsement...
And... it is not really an endorsement.
Not at all.
Unless you are depressed and suicidal, then Burger King may help you turn your life around.
Really.
From Ok! Magazine via Consumerist.
Friday, May 9, 2008
The Nerd That I Am
The other night I was tickling my year old daughter's chin.
But.
Instead of cooing: "coochie-coochie-coo..."
I was going: "wiki-wiki-wiki-wiki..."
NerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerd !
But.
Instead of cooing: "coochie-coochie-coo..."
I was going: "wiki-wiki-wiki-wiki..."
NerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerdNerd !
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Bush Versus Hitler
Q: What is the difference between George W. Bush and Adolph Hitler?
A: Hitler was a better public speaker.
From Last Comic Standing contestant who did not qualify.
A: Hitler was a better public speaker.
From Last Comic Standing contestant who did not qualify.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Why Programmers Must Have Long Hair
If you are a programmer programming a programming language, casual observations indicates it is best you grow facial and scalp hair long before commencing work.
Long hair lengths from the afformentioned body parts seems to indicate likelihood of language adoption and continual usage.
No word on the effect of hair lengths from other parts of the body on a programming language chance of success.
This is serious stuff people.
From Slashdot.
Long hair lengths from the afformentioned body parts seems to indicate likelihood of language adoption and continual usage.
No word on the effect of hair lengths from other parts of the body on a programming language chance of success.
This is serious stuff people.
From Slashdot.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Global Warming And Weight Gain
What are the similarities between Global Warming and weight gain?
Both are terrible but what can you do?
- Joe de Vito, Last Comic Standing contestant.
Both are terrible but what can you do?
- Joe de Vito, Last Comic Standing contestant.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Some Evidence Over Existence of Homo Americanus
Well... he is not an archaeologists, he works for an airline as a reservation agent.
But he does have circumstantial evidence that an unknown branch of Homo Neanderthalensis, the Homo Americanus, is not extinct but is thriving somwhere between the Mexican and Canadian borders.
Note to Homo Americanus: 'Homo' as in the genus Homo and not the other 'Homo'.
I am so cruel.
Must... not... torture... defenseless beasties...
But he does have circumstantial evidence that an unknown branch of Homo Neanderthalensis, the Homo Americanus, is not extinct but is thriving somwhere between the Mexican and Canadian borders.
Note to Homo Americanus: 'Homo' as in the genus Homo and not the other 'Homo'.
I am so cruel.
Must... not... torture... defenseless beasties...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I Can Feed The World
It is nutritious.
It is inexpensive.
It would be mass producible.
Unfortunately, it is tasteless to most, horrible to a few.
Fortunately, it can be cooked and flavored: fried, baked, roasted, boiled, spiced, soyed, peppered.
It comes in chips, bricks, loafs or as big as a butchered hog.
It is the future of mankind.
It is inexpensive.
It would be mass producible.
Unfortunately, it is tasteless to most, horrible to a few.
Fortunately, it can be cooked and flavored: fried, baked, roasted, boiled, spiced, soyed, peppered.
It comes in chips, bricks, loafs or as big as a butchered hog.
It is the future of mankind.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
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